[21:38] Her: il just spend my night shopping on the internet!!
[21:38] Me: I think
[21:38] Me: I'll go make myself some tea
[21:38] Her: good idea
[21:38] Me: I've only had an egg salad sandwich all day
[21:38] Her: you dilly!!
[21:38] Her: you'll waste away
[21:39] Me: its kinda weird
[21:39] Me: councilor types would say its a form of self harm
[21:39] Me: but I kinda like forcing my body to do what I feel like doing
[21:40] Me: rather than what it wants
[21:40] Me: I have no plans to slim
[21:40] Me: or
[21:40] Me: stave myself
[21:40] Me: cos I'm hungry
[21:40] Me: but I'll eat when I choose to
[21:40] Me: not when my appitie says
[21:40] Me: so
[21:41] Her: yeh that is weird. . .if my body wants food it gets food. . . . . . . c im different my body chooses when i eat
[21:41] Me: hehe
[21:41] Her: :P
[21:41] Her: go eat food
[21:42] Me: yeah I will do
[21:42] Me: I dunno
[21:42] Me: its kinda like this
[21:42] Me: I want to be in control
[21:42] Me: over mind and body
[21:43] Her: why?
[21:43] Me: because
[21:43] Me: I'm stupid, I make so many mistakes
[21:43] Me: bad decisions
[21:43] Me: everything
[21:43] Her: join the club
[21:43] Me: I want to be more disclipined
[21:44] Me: in how I live
[21:44] Me: I'm sick of my halfarse living
[21:44] Her: yeh but the answer isnt controlling when to eat is it?
[21:44] Me: no
[21:44] Me: its not
[21:44] Me: its just a random thing I'm doing today
[21:45] Me: like when I run
[21:45] Me: I will run until I say stop
[21:45] Me: not when my body gives up
[21:45] Me: if i do weights
[21:45] Me: I will keep going until I am happy
[21:45] Me: not when my girl like arms fail
[21:45] Her: he he really?
[21:46] Me: yeah
[21:46] Me: its hard
[21:46] Me: if I'm being honest with someone
[21:46] Me: I want to be completely transparent
[21:46] Me: to the point where it hurts
[21:47] Me: I want to be hot or cold not just boring and lukewarm
[21:47] Her: so basically you want verything to the extreme
[21:47] Me: no
[21:47] Me: maybe not
[21:48] Me: I just don't want to keep living life how it is now
[21:48] Me: I want more
[21:49] Me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToVQMCBgmAc
(I was gonna go on to link this to my faith and less half arseness, but the conversation changed)
Friday, 15 September 2006
I'm dissatisfied
rambled by Dave on Friday, September 15, 2006
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