The wedding Planner

First Email

15/04/2007
To:
Dave Garcia
Thomas Foster
Oliver Letwin
Lauren Manning
Alistair Brown
Laura Brown

Hello, fellow Weddingees (Loz, JD, Fosterious, Garcia, Rt. Hon. Oliver Letwin Member of Parliament for West Dorset and Conservative Policy Director, La, Big Al the Fist)

After consultation with the young lady we think this is a planish plan of the wedding day. Logisics of the morning are quite tricky so if there is any problems, you should probably let us know nowish.

Keep it real

benv
Enc - spreadsheet of plan for wedding morning

Second Email

15/04/2007
To:
Dave Garcia
Thomas Foster
Oliver Letwin
Lauren Manning
Alistair Brown
Laura Brown
CC:
David Cameron

Dear everybody,

You will notice in my previous email, I added Rt. Hon. Oliver Letwin Member of Parliament for West Dorset and Conservative Policy Director as a fellow weddingee. Please note that this was a shameful (bad) mistake on my part and one I am activly making every effort to correct.

On behalf of myself, I would like to apologise for the complete and utter shameful waste of time this has been to Mr Letwin, and to all you other weddingees for having to read this email.

Despite my mistrust of the man, as a gesture of goodwill toward King Ollie Lettaz, I have copied this email to Dave `a-bit-wierd` Cameron in case the trully brilliant Letwin is questioned on wasting time with me. For the record, Oliver has had (thus far) no involvement with either this wedding or any other engagement with myself. Infact, for the record, Mr Cameron while I have your attention I think you're quite terrible at everything and `Webcameron` is rubbish. Also your frankly racist policy on the NHS does you no credit and the day you get in power is the day I'll rue (not look fondly upon)! In short, to summarise, to conclude and to sum up I think you should abdicate your position to Mr Letwin (or Mr Osbourne if you want to settle for second best). This is of course your decision, but let us hope a seed has been planted - hey?

Yours sincerely

Ben Foster (GNVQ)
B&Q Fully Qualified Salesperson and Pricing Champion

CC, Dodgey Dave Cameron