bit of an update

so, I think the last time I bloggededed I was working at opencontact, they are a norwich based indian call center. Fun. Wasn't the best job in the world, though, I'm not sure what I was expecting, however money is money and, I love to use, commas,

The only problem I had with the place (apart from the huge responsiblity of having to answer phones) was my concern it was going to interfer with me starting volunteering with the samaritans (just as a word of explaination, I decided to volunteer with the samaritians as a way of getting some experience of counciling). I mean, the idea of being on the phone all day to sometimes grumpy customers and then spending an extra 4 hours speaking to less happy people didn't seem exactly perfect in my eyes. Fortunatly for me, opencontact needed to get rid of some staff so they kindly "let me go" on my day of (thursday). Friday morning I was then called by the agency who wanted me to come in for a chat about a job, it was with the probation service and quicker then you can say "oh bum, I think I should go check on my pie in the oven, back in a sec..." I was offered the job covering a years maternity leave and I started on the tuesday. Pretty darn sweet I feel...apart from the fact I come face to file (see what I did there?) of what seems to be my entire middle school class. Actually, I need to say this, it's really really sadening me how much the kids who had it tough when we were 10 have run into trouble now. If it wasn't for the fact I REALLY don't want to, I would get back into youth work quicker then you could say "oh bay, that pie is lookingh good!". Its tugging on my heart.

Oh, from now on, I use paragraphs on my own terms, oh wait, it's always been like that.

Anyway, so I'm working there. I have to admit I'm finding the processes very illogical and because of that hard to pick up. That said, the job is really easy so it's sometimes quite infuryating.

Sams is good. I was really struggling with it but on sunday finished the training and will start listening in on calls with my mentor on saturday. I'm REALLY excited about it.

um, what else? Oh, got in contact with Mel a bit, that was quite nice, turns out she is doing an OU introduction to counciling so that's really good. I was round her mum's a few weeks ago to sort out her laptop and it was crazy to see how much Josh has grown up. I miss not seeing them anymore (actually that should read I wish I was still a part of their lives) but she sounds happy with I can't remember his name and, well, it must be for the best. I was a terrible...forget it.

What else? Oh, I had a bash at leading worship at OG. I've had a listen back to the recording and, well, I dunno what to say really, I would like to do it again but I'm in no hurry. Interestingly though, someone came up to me this evening and complimented me. I didn't know he was at the service and he thought I led normally. So the fact he thought I had done it before was a nice thing, didn't feel even a sniff of brain ego swelling, however he said something about worship at OG being very female focused and think I might know what he means, but that said, it was something I sometimes thought but never said. I think I might have to ask about what other people's views are. Are men feeling left out (that probably could be worded differently) in the worship at OG?

I realised recently how much I associate God with my guitar.
Maybe everyone else is very holy, but I'm not. I still struggle with the idea that God isn't an angry dad who has to cool off before I can be with him. He welcome us always, regardless of what we have said or done moment before. It's us that put up the barrier.
Anyway, so if I'm feeling particularly like a sinner I won't pray, I won't read my bible, I won't listen to Michael W Smith (that was a joke by the way, everyone knows Michael W Smith is a satanist, try listening to his music backwards.) However, what I didn't realise is I don't play my guitar, I seem to have the same aversion to playing the guitar that I would to praying or reading the bible. Weird.

So, it's 1am, I should have gone to bed but I started making a fish pie for my lunch tomorrow about 2 hours ago so I think I had best start tidying up and go to bed. Night!