grit teeth, clench fist

ugh...

I'm trying to chill out, but I can't.

I can't stand it how when I get angry about something I behave in such an odd way. I want to scream til it starts to hurt. I want to break things and I good cry wouldn't go a miss either.

However, I'm with friends celebrating a birthday and I just have a face like a slapped arse.

On a slightly unrelated note, my forgetfulness has gone past funny to being quite worrying. I saw a friend last night and said "cool, it's great to see you! We haven't hung out in ages!"
"Yeah we have, we went swimming last thursday"
"hmmm, no we didn't"
"yeah, Dave, we did. We went back to yours and ate nachos with melted cheese and chillies then you cooked for us."
"Ok, stop it, not funny"
"no Dave, seriously- we did!"
"oh...."

I can quite easily see me in my late 30s with Alzheimer's, no joke, I can see it happening.