Friday, 28 March 2008

March 26th

My mum was 60 on the 26th and I find it really weird.

My initial thought, however morbit, is that if she lives to the same age as her mum, I've only got another 22 years knowing her. This also means, any children I have won't have much time with her. Weird thought.

Secondly, I wonder what the rest of her years will be like (I can't help but smile writting this because it is kinda silly). For my mum, I can't help but feel she should be else where. She met my biological father while being a missionary in Ecuador, she got married and I can't help but feel its been kinda downhill since then. She used to be a christian band, she used to ride a motorbike (which wasn't really thought of so highly when she was a twenty something), she stripped and reprogrammed our washing machine to add more functions, she used to work on the royal farm and is known to say things like "if I could have my time again, I would go and dig wells in africa". She likes scarcastic humour and love to talk about the bible, (why I just paired those two I have no idea). From 1991 (I've never but a date on it until now...) she raised 4 sons and... hmmm.

Never thought about that.

I was going to say how we're all grown up now and that there is nothing keeping her here. That I felt she should go back to Ecuador or some other mission field, but that date has (I was going to say "kinda" but I realise I have typed it far too many times already) caught me off guard...I didn't realise how long it had been since Jorge left.

She has been alone for so long (which is part of the reason I'm still at her house rather than going home. She's at work right now, but I feel bad knowing she'll come home to the empty house that used to ring with young boys running around. In saying that, I have to be in the city for 5:30pm to meet friends and I'm always late and I know she won't be back til about 6pm. I think I'll tidy up and leave her a meal out or something...that'll ease my conscience.), maybe upping and leaving to do something else wouldn't be helpful at all. Maybe consistency is what is needed.

We went out for her birthday with 7 of her friends from church and I felt really encouraged by the gifts they gave her. To me, they just seemed to say that they knew my mum really well and I take alot of comfort from that. I moved out when I was 22, not because I didn't want to move out sooner, it was more because I knew she would be alone. It's good to know she has friends around her that understand her, just like I love the fact my friends understand me.

I think I'll leave it there.

1 comment:

sparkles said...

that's a really beautiful, amazing and touching post