what's been eating at me for so long. It's the feeling that the future doesn't seem to hold much prospect. Nothing outstanding, nothing exciting, but low paid, unintelligent monotomy and I know I've brought it upon myself. My thinking then goes to how when everything gets better when the whole relationship with God thing is going well. And that's exactly it, I feel so many of my friends have got themselves figured out without God and my arm is being bent behind my back, being forced to submit to something that I don't want to do if I want to any chance at happiness.
Monday, 15 March 2010
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"I feel so many of my friends have got themselves figured out without God"
Really, like who?
Unfortunately, no one you know.
Oddly, I can now look back on that post and know it was way off the mark.
It was a constant self loathing that was bringing me down. I couldn't help but feel that while it isn't the message of church or Christianity, there seems to be an underlying theme of 'you're never good enough' which isn't back up with a strong constant message of grace.
It just felt like a constant crawling on my knees, begging for forgiveness over things completely out of my control. It was a miserable existence and the more I looked around the more I found people who said they were happy, but really weren't, they were in exactly the same boat as me and they didn't realise it.
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