Monday, 15 March 2010

I think I get it

what's been eating at me for so long. It's the feeling that the future doesn't seem to hold much prospect. Nothing outstanding, nothing exciting, but low paid, unintelligent monotomy and I know I've brought it upon myself. My thinking then goes to how when everything gets better when the whole relationship with God thing is going well. And that's exactly it, I feel so many of my friends have got themselves figured out without God and my arm is being bent behind my back, being forced to submit to something that I don't want to do if I want to any chance at happiness.


Phil said...

"I feel so many of my friends have got themselves figured out without God"

Really, like who?

Dave said...

Unfortunately, no one you know.

Dave said...

Oddly, I can now look back on that post and know it was way off the mark.
It was a constant self loathing that was bringing me down. I couldn't help but feel that while it isn't the message of church or Christianity, there seems to be an underlying theme of 'you're never good enough' which isn't back up with a strong constant message of grace.
It just felt like a constant crawling on my knees, begging for forgiveness over things completely out of my control. It was a miserable existence and the more I looked around the more I found people who said they were happy, but really weren't, they were in exactly the same boat as me and they didn't realise it.