Its gotta be the hardest thing to hear

"I don't trust you anymore if I'm honest"
"I've got alot of stuff going on at the moment...I don't want to tell you about it so please don't ask"

It hurts more when you realise you brought it on yourself.

Funny thing, literally moments before I heard that Ben(volio) texted me and said:

"Hey dude, hate to use a cliche, but I just felt God say to trust him in this. Leave it in his capable hands and don't loose sight of Him in this...Even if it does get frustrating and difficult. La and Me'll be praying"

I walked home watching lightning infront of me quietly filling the sky, prayed some and then comtemplated bass lines.

Life really is a journey at the moment, work is going well, faith...no thats not the word - commitment, well thats not going so great. Am reading that Adrian Plass book and that is very good, stuff with Mel, well, I haven't written about her in a while because to be honest I don't really know (kinda embarrising really considering all I have written before).

Things I have learnt though, Benvolio, (yes that arrogant annoying one we all love in person and hate online), is growing so much. I mean in his faith, commitment to God & Laura and very much so in wisdom. We were talking on the sofa the other night and I think I caught a glimpse of the man he is growing into. I wish you could have seen it, you would have been caught off guard.