Friday 30 June 2006

Another one

One time when I was at Costessy middle school, we were having a music lesson, I had just joined, it was year 4 and I think I was 7 or 8. In this lesson we were learning about different instruments, the teacher (Mr Green) decided to use the song 'Music Man' to help us learn, you know the know that goes "I'm the music man I come from far away and I can play, "what can you play!?", I can play the piano!" You know the song. Anyway, in this lesson a lucky child was given the chance to introduce an instrument to the song and lead the class in the song. I waited and waited for my chance, every time someone else got it, or someone did one I had thought of, until finally I got my moment, and it went a little something like this:

Me - He's the music man and I come from down your way, and I can playeee
*music stops*
Mr Green - D, David? Is that your name?
Me - Yes it is
Mr Green do you actually know the words?
Me - I..erm…kinda
Mr Green - OK, so, what was your instrument going to be?
Me- A…guitar *looks at the floor*
Mr Green - Right, ok, everybody sing along
Class and Mr green - I'm the music man I come from far away and I can play, "what can you play?!" I play the guitar!
*music stops*
Mr Green - How do you play the guitar David?
(I froze at this point, the thought hadn't even crossed my mind, all I had been thinking about was choosing a 'cool' instument so Helen Leggett would think that I was cool!)

Me - Erm…
Mr Green - Think about it for a second and we'll start again
Class and Mr green - I'm the music man I come from far away and I can play, "what can you play?!" I play the guitar!
Mr Green - David!
Me - *playing bad air guitar* Grr gr grr gr grr guitar gr guitar gr guitar, Grr gr grr gr grr guitar gr gr gr guitar"

It was the longest 2 minutes of my life.
I was never picked for songs again.
Helen Leggett didn't think I was cool.
I am emotionally scared.


Cringe worthy flash backs

So I'm sitting here at work (you will notice from the speal written at the bottom) and I just had a flash back of something I did while I was in america.

I was staying with my friend Hayley and her parents. They wanted to have a photo taken of me with them as I was going home pretty soon.

The photo was to be taken with the american flag in the back ground, now I don't know why I did this, I suppose I thought it was funny at the time, but when I saw the flag I 'pretended' to sit on it. The look on their faces was apsolute shock, I quickly pointed out I was just kidding (while adding a nervous laugh) but I don't think it went down well.

*shudder*


Wednesday 28 June 2006

I think I feel sick

So, on the way back from work today I stopped in one of those shops that sells imported food like noodles, rice, spices and stuff. I had been meaning to stop in there for ages as I knew I would find some gem of the food variety.

All in all I was kinda out of my depth as I generally didn't know what I was looking for, and ended up buying some rice noodles, banana chilli sauce (which is crazy hot) and a tin of tomatoes (the same brand that you can buy in tescos!) So I'm cooking my tea; diced chicken with red onions and yellow pepper fried with this amazing seasoning and bouillion, looks and smells great! Mean while I had my rice noodles soaking, and then at the right time combined the two adding the chilli sauce for a bit of fire. All was going well, then (and here is where my happy happy joy joy cooking fun goes a little wrong), out of the corner of my eye I spy a bug running across the work top, not thinking I just grab a saucepan and squish it, I then put this little moment out of my head and serve up. I was gonna put some out for Ben but realised there wouldn't be enough so I piled it high in a bowl and started munching.

Chomp chomp chomp

As I'm nearing half way, Elizabeth (my other house mate) comes home, for some reason she lifts up the saucepan and says: "erm, Dave, you need to have a look at this" to which I replied
"yeah, I knew about that, I saw him running away so I got him, sorry, I was midway through cooking otherwise I would have got rid of him"
"It looks like a cockroach"
"nah, i don't think it is, probably a dune bug or something"
"I'm really not so sure"
"I'll ask Ben in a while, he might know"
I said as I continued eating my tea (which, I wasn't so impressed with, I might just stick with rice next time, noodles seemed a bit bland.) It was at this point I remembered I saw the bug thing running away from the same area that my opened packet of noodles was..."surely not!" I thought to myself as I munched regardless (kinda wishing I wasn't so stubborn.)
"It couldn't have come from your noodles, I would have been dead already if it was imported" Elizabeth helpfully pointed out, I wasn't so convinced. I concluded to myself that the idea that this little beastie wasn't actually a dune bug...feeling slightly dirty inside I searched on wikipedia and found this:

"The cockroach is also one of the hardiest insects on the planet, capable of living for a month without food and remaining alive headless for up to a week. It can also hold its breath for 45 minutes and has the ability to slow down its heart rate."

I think I'm gonna throw up in my mouth :(

One thing, do I approach that shop and tell them about it so they can sort it out, or do I shop them to health and safety? This is someone livelyhood here, I won't want to mess things up for them, but I don't want to eat stuff a cockroach has lived in for a month! (I don't think I'll shop there again.)

Think big walk talll

Fidderly foodle bim bam boo
(Think big walk tall)
Fidderly foodle doodle bird

Tuesday 27 June 2006

Doin' it in the dark

Last night I discovered that if I show when its dark outside, the light in my bathroom makes it clearly visable that I am showering. Tonight I turned off the light and boldly stepped into the shower not knowing if I would fall over again.
I'm here to tell the tale, you can sleep easy now.

Monday 26 June 2006

My brother is in China

If you, whoever you are, could pray for him, that would be fantastic. (note: I'm not pushing ideas for praying about, its up to you!)

Jesus and KFC

Today we moved offices, I wasn't hugely up for it, not only did I lose my nice place next to the window over looking the trees and thingys, but we now have to share with some of the other high profile teams...which means we can't make so much noise, or for the smokers on the team...have fag breaks ever 45 minutes!

Anyway, so I wasn't feeling brilliant, it was probably due to me not eating breakfast too, I couldn't focus and found myself questioning what on earth I was doing in this job in the first place!? All the training I had recieved disappeared from my head leaving me feeling very stupid and very helpless.

Lunch time soon came around though and I decided I would treat myself to some KFC, I'm normally a sandwich man, but today, I need the satisfaction of knowing I was eating the flesh of a small defenseless animal. So anyway, I find myself standing in KFC asking the guy what I should buy, (I always do this, the theory is that they have tried everything atleast 4 times and would know what is best...more often than not the answer I get is completely unhelpful and I end up ingnoring their suggestions anyway.)

(On a slightly obscure but soon to be related note, I don't like cold chairs, I like to sit down and have had it pre warmed by some people with great circulation.)

There I am by myself in KFC and I find my seat...it warm. Normally I would be like, "cool, warm seat", but today it was different, today I sat down, felt the warm seat and felt God say "yes, I'm always with you, even at work while you're on your lunch break (eating your junk food)" Gotta love his humour!

It made me think of that song, I think its a song, the one that says "I just called to tell you that I love you", it wasn't a huge thing, it was God just reminding me he was there. I say just God reminding me, but it was actually a big deal to me. Funny thing, when I got back, all those problems that seemed so big that morning didn't really appear so bad after all.

Sunday 25 June 2006

This morning at church

There is such beauty in this brokenness.
We don't walk alone,
we have someone.
Here we have family, love and protection,
An unconditional shoulder to cry on.
Here thorns are being pulled out,

and here we are bleeding.
But its also here healing is happening.

These hugs, tears and broken hearts.
These reassuring words.
These crys of pain.
These meetings with you.
And this silence of restoration,

makes me feel safe.
Safe to be who I am.
I am home.

(Sometimes I wonder if you hear my heart,

but you know me.
I will choose you, I will choose joy.)

Tuesday 20 June 2006

In the scary scary old testament today

So when reading the bible (for those just joining us, this is a painfully rare occurance, so don't start thinking I'm super holy or something) in the brief moments before leaving for work, I got to verse 17 of Isaiah 32 which says: "The fruit of righteousness will be peace, the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence for ever."

It got me thinking, "is that me? Can I relate to that?" and the simple answer is "sometimes".
The effect 24/7 had on me was that I was praying alot and reading the bible alot, now, I don't claim to be particularly knowledgble in things like "what is righteousness?" but I can poke a guess at how to get there. It seems quite clear to me, if I read the bible and pray and actually make an attempt at having a relationship with God, his traites will rub off on me, righteousness is one of them.

Now, going back to saturday and the week I had running up to that, I don't think I actually read the bible or had a chat with God at all. I think it was for of me thinking "I have been reading my bible, yay!" but being so caught up in that, that I didn't actually read it at all. (I'm not really very bright either.) I can remember a chat I had with Phil and he said how be could could pretty much plot a graph showing how his relationship with God tracked how much he read his bible.

Now forward a bit to saturday evening, where I find myself deceving someone who I promised I would be transparent with, you kinda need to ask "whats up!?" I'm in no way palming off the responsiblity of that I did and going down the whole "the devil made me!" route, however, as I said in one of my other posts, how I am as I person, how I think and act is very much effected by how much time I spend with God.

What I'm getting from that verse is this: Meeting with God stops Dave being a dumbarse, great huh!?
The second verse I picked up on this morning sums it up brilliantly, Isaiah 33 v 6 "He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowlege; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure."

Good stuff.

Destroyed by my man boobs

I rejoice in my geekyness for loving the fact I got a "Dr Kawashima's Brain Training: How Old Is Your Brain?" T-shirt, the only problem is, when trying it on the whole geeky coolness look is totally destroyed by my slowly developing man boobs.

Its times like these you wish work wasn't a 5 minute bike ride away, I think I may invest in that rowing machine I eyed up the other month.

Monday 19 June 2006

Realising how weak I am

So, its been about only a week or two after the 24/7 prayer event, a I'm where I felt so so so close to God, where I spend an hour every day reading the bible and in prayer, and here I am now, only a short time after, struggling for words and leaving only a few minutes in the morning for reading the bible. The effects are pretty intense, firstly, I lied to someone I really care about and really upset her. The pathetic thing was it was over something so small and insignificant, if only I had of said how it was, the whole lame feeling I've had since saturday evening wouldn't have come over me.

When I have been reading the bible recently, I've found myself reading parts of the old testament that I would normally avoid. This is mainly cos I have got into the thinking that only the nice encouraging bits are in the New Testament and the Old Testament is all God punishing people, bit I've realised its not actually like that at all. It generally goes like this: Israel are getting on great with God and he is blessing them, then they turn away from God and it kinda goes downhill, then they totally insult God and continue to go against him, then God says something like "if you do that, I will punish you, because you aren't living how you are meant to be" (and this is where I normally stop and go read the gospels...or a magazine), but if I kept on reading I would see that every single time God says "but if you come back to me and love me, I will love you as my children, I will be your father and you will be mine, I will be your king and you will be blessed"

Today I read Isaiah 32, and the main verse I picked out was 17 "The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence for ever". When I was reading my bible everyday and praying every day, I was at peace. I had this quietness, quietly worshipful in all moments and I was confident. With regards to confidence, I've just started a new job and I know I won't actually be any good at it unless God works through me, but when I was reading my bible and praying everyday, I was confident that God would help me, that confidence has been slowly ebbing away since I stopped.

So this is the conclusion I have come to, and I'm sorry if its taken me 21 nearly 22 years to get it, but without God I'm pretty stuffed. Without him I hurt the ones I love, I become dishonest and I start messing up and work. I'm quite weak really...thank God in my weakness he makes me strong.

'How to forgive' By My Boss

So this was pretty much the scene at work today:

My boss: (On the phone to her financial adviser) "so what I'm saying Ian is that is you were doing your job properly, we wouldn't be in this mess, you have until monday to get those documents processed (and you and I both know it takes on adverage 14 days) or we loose £8,000 and keep our mortgagee or we lose our house!"

This was followed by Paula slamming the phone down, swearing a bit and generally getting quite upset (quite rightly so! I felt really bad for her.)

She then finds out if he goes to her building society and gets a certain document, all would be well. So off she ran, (only to come back seconds later to get a hat saying that it was raining and she didn't want her hair to get frizzy) to the building society, 20 minutes later, she had what she needed, phone Ian, got it all sorted.

This had started at about 1pm today and she had been stressing out for the whole afternoon, so come 5pm my boss had been stressed to the max, had been shouting on the phone to Ian which had caused her to get upset with her husband (who had apparently agreed to use Ian at a football match) and caused her to get no work done. Then, after it had been sorted out, my boss was on the phone to Ian being quite chatty saying "well, I'm glad that is over, though I have to say, I'll never recommend you to anyone I know"

Then came the bit that got me most, after she got off the phone, she said something like thats the thing with me, I just can't be horrible to people, referring the chatty tone of her conversation with Ian) yes, I know he upset me, but (and she said this next bit without a second thought) I've forgiven him now."

This guy almost lost her and her husband their new house, he had already done this with the other house they were meant to be buying 4 weeks ago exactly the same way, but without even pondering it, she had forgiven him and gone down the pub for a lager and shandy.

Why does it take me, (this Christian who knows what the price of grace actually means), so long to forgive other when it took someone who just lives formal life literally a second!?

Needless to say, I'll feeling pretty challenged.

Sunday 18 June 2006

Today while putting on my bag

I punched myself in the face. It hurt.

The slug with lips IS ALIVE!!

ok, so I was thinking to myself, "I really should go back and edit my previous slug post and appologise to my house mate for"...the reason slips my mind at the moment, but either way, I went to go and inspect the place where that slimey slimey fiend was slain...ONLY TO FIND ITS

BACK AGAIN!!
How could this be!?

He was DEAD! Like the mongoose in VIII, like Jonny 5 in short circit, like Harold Bishop in Neighbours, like Arnold Swartznegger in Terminator 2, like George Bluth in Arrested Development season 2, LIKE JESUS!! And like all of these people, ITS ALIVE AGAIN! Woe is me!

There is only one thing for it...

Saturday 17 June 2006

some freaky poo poo

Open a new text document (notepad) on your desktop.

Open it.

Type (or copy & paste) "Bush hid the facts", without the quotation marks.

Save.

Close.

Open.

What happened?

I wish you could read this, I wish you had the internet

I would tell you how sorry I am, I've told you already, but I don't think you were listening...I don't blame you.

My wrath was poured out

The other night...no, I mean last night...erm, thursday night, yeah thats it, anyway, on thursday night I was poking around the cupboards in my house looking for something to eat and I found Ben's bag of flour with a hole in the bottom, (not the normal hole you would imagine), it looked like it had been...dare I say this out loud?
CHEWED
!!
In shock I scampered up the stairs and informed my noble house mate to which I got the response "Dave, its 1am, I really don't care!"

Fair point I thought.

So I went to see if I could find whatever caused this travesty (I have been wanting to use that word since I started this ramble), in my searching I found a slug.

Not only was this a slug but it was a slimey one.

Not only was this a slug that was slimey but...wait for it....
IT WAS EATING THE FLOUR THAT SPILT ON THE SHELF! For about 2 minutes I stood mesmerized by this fearsome beast, it was only on closer inspection that I did make my most shocking discovery of the evening.
Slugs. Have. LIPS!

Why didn't anyone tell me!?
Why did I reach the 22nd year of my without knowing this piece of knowledge!?
Or maybe I knew it all along but was in denial...
It was strange, I was quite angry, this slug was mocking me with every chomp and lick of his lips. So, I did what any self respecting man would do, I reached for the closest thing I could use as a weapon and brandished it in a menacing way, and then with one mighty swing of my arm and a sharp flick of my wrist, a fine shower of sea salt rained down on my adversary.

It was a strange thing to watch, it was almost like he was melting, liquid seemed to just appear from nowhere and it kinda sunk into itself (no, don't misunderstand, it was a slug, not a snail...or a stimpy for that matter. And yes, I am referring to that episode of Ren and Stimpy when Stimpy gets inside his belly button and disappeared.)

Erm, can't be bothered to write more, basically, I poured out my salty wrath on it until it was completely covered, washed it off later and it had gone all small and hard and white.

Thats what you get if you don't tell me about your lips.

CHARGE!!!!!!!!!

Thursday 15 June 2006

Sometimes I dance

Sometimes I dance a bad as I can around the house secretly hoping someone will see me.

If I was to fake my own death...would that be not WJWD?

I'm signed up with Lovefilm.com, one of those online DVD rental things, recently I ordered another debit card and because of this, they haven't been able to process my payment. After two emails I have now got a letter in the post, now here is my question: Would it be wrong to phone up lovefilm.com and say "Hi, this is Dave's brother, he died three weeks ago, I'll return his DVD's, just please don't writing to us(him) its upsetting."
I don't want to be subscribed to lovefilm any more anyway, and am looking for a way to get out of it.
The only problem I can see with this idea (and it may not even happen) is with their data sharing things that companies do for credit ratings, is there a possibility that I would start receiving letters to "Mr D Garcia (Deceased)"? I think that would make my day.

Wednesday 14 June 2006

Whatever you do

Don't click >here<

23 days clean

I think its a bit more than that, but I installed x3watch on my pc 23 days ago and I haven't looked back. This is cool, I'm liking church again.

Arrogant spider

Funny thing, you never bump into arrogant spiders...or maybe its just we don't notice their blatant egotistical ways.

Tuesday 13 June 2006

I'm so stupid it makes me glow

Chris: You seen this? You seen this?
Me: What?
Chris: This *shows me his arm* I got this crazy mozzy bite
Me: Woah, Mozzy bite? Looks more like a Mosquito bite! Dude, you've got two!
*silence*
Me: Thats not quite what I meant...

Asking God for Biscuits

This thought came from my thinking about Meadow Way Chapel (my old church) and how I think it is better than my house mates church (Kings Community Church)

OK, so imagine you were and church and the guy doing the sermon was talking about whatever and half way through some random lady, (you know the kind that does the teas and coffees week in week out and no one actually takes the time to thank them for their dedication), walks up to the communion table, (lets pretend you are brethern for a moment), and puts down a place of chocolate hobknobs, custard creams and digestive biscuits on the table. Noticing this he says "if you feel you would like a biscuit at any point during the service, feel free". The communion table however is about 10 foot from the front row and right below the pulpit.

Now, it might be because we are british, or it could be something else that i haven't thought about, but I can pretty much garentee that no one will go up in front of the rest of the congregation and get a biscuit...that is unless they are under 11.

The great thing about children is they are so innocent.
An adult will be thinking a mixture of things ranging from "what will everyone else thing of me?" to "this has got to be a catch, I'm gonna look silly if I fall for it"

The bible says how we should come to God with the faith like a child. You would see in this instance the child will trust the speaker, they will believe that if they are offering it, there isn't a catch. However adults seems to be conditioned or taught to be cynical and expect the worst...EVEN IN CHURCH! (which is probably the reason why they let their children go up and look silly)

I think this can describe our prayer life sometimes. Sometimes when we pray for we're like "Father God please will you make it so that [fill in the blanks yourself] in your name amen!" but then we completely ignore the things that God does give us.

The bible says how we should come to God with the faith like a child. You would see in this instance the child will trust the speaker, they will believe that if they are offering it, there isn't a catch. However adults seems to be conditioned or taught to be cynical and expect the worst...EVEN IN CHURCH!

Even with God we sometimes seem to think there is a catch, when God gives us really wonderful things (that are blatently right under our noses) we're like, "oh Lord give me a sign! Give me the desires of my heart...give me [again fill in the blanks], in your name Amen."

I know it says in the bible that whatever you pray in Jesus' name will happen, but we really need to stop and look around and see what God has given us first before we start asking for stuff, you could use that wasted breath in better ways like thanking God for what you do have, or telling someone about what God has done for you!

It seems it so easy for us to start ignoring what is God's will and start thinking our ideas and our wisdom is better than his. Since when did God ever start making mistakes? When did his track record of letting us down start? We need to face it, we don't really have any decent reasons to not follow God's ideas, we know from scripture he always has our best interests at heart so why don't we take that on board and start living it?

Going back to our hungry little monsters, children tend to be quite bold. I think as we grow up we start thinking that boldness is seen as being rude and slightly egotistical (which is bad) and quiet meek timid christianity is all polite (which is good). But if you have faith like a child you believe that what is being offered to you by God is safe and good for you, and so you can go and get it, but you need to step out of your comfort zone. The thing with children is that they don't care what people think so much, they actually like being the center of attention, they don't care if everyone is watching. They are in that wonderful place where they haven't started thinking about what other people think of them so much that it drastically effects their actions. An adult will not go up infront of the rest of the church to get a biscuit cos it will look like they are greedy.

To be honest, in our lives, we need to do that (go and get what God offers us). If there is something we want in our relationship with God we need to hunger for it, and if that is the focus for us, everything else (including our insecurities) won't be the center of our attention and won't have as much power over us as it does already. However, we also need to accept and come to terms with the fact that we might look stupid sometimes. Thinking about it, you would actually look kinda silly if this whole biscuit thing happened, but if you don't care what people think, who cares what you look like!? Its about stepping out of your comfort zone, the more you do it, the more you feel comfortable outside of it. If you're in the will of God, even tho it can be uncomfortable, God will reward you with the thins he has instore for you and provide you with what you need to get through it, and when you do, you will have heinsight to look back and see all that God has done.

Oh, and by the way, my thoughts about Meadow way and Kings was this:
Meadow Way have biscuits after church, Kings don't.
And incase you wonder, I used to be that 11 year old child and I'm currently working on becoming 11 again.

The inner workings of the male mind

I was thinking today (as I walked back to my office from my tip to the loo where I poked my eye about a bit in the mirror), there are so many people I know that the men (fathers) in their lives have just walked away in some shape or form. This could be litterally walking out of their lives, or by way of their choices, making them unavaliable for them.

Robert
Phil
Josh
Myself
Adam
Becky
Drew
Mel
Paul

So many people, so many ruined lives.
What is it with Men? Do they look at responsiblity and run away? Is it in their genes to be so pathetic? Is it infectious...? I hope not.

Monday 12 June 2006

quiet confession

I'm standing here with my lowered voice
Cos I'm so ashamed of what I'm about to say
I speak these words they flow
From my lips to you
In this quiet confession

If I was to write a drunken parody of Alanis Morissette's 'Head over feet'...

..the chorus would go:

I'm already over the legal limit

So don't be supprised if I fall, ass over tit

And don't be supprised if I yell "I love you" from across the bar

I couldn't help it, its John Smith's fault


So, you're probably thinking I'm insane, but I just recorded a really really rough copy on my phone and it does fit. You can find it >here< (thanks to standforchrist.co.uk for the hosting). Also listen to the whole of Alanis Morissette's back catalogue by clicking >here< and clicking music, then choose the album you want to listen to. 'Head over feet' is taken from the 'Jagged Little Pill' album.

Train Song

Train Song
The Listener
website
myspace
store
accapella video
(requires quicktime)


I was alone, and my train was late that night
I saw a crumpled man blinded by the life that he treated himself to
crippled from the nights receiving endless beatings that even a house couldn't endure
palm raised skyward, his meager belongings collected on the floor
singing songs to no one about nothing, but crying because they mean so much
it's these babblings that keep his life going, keep the nickels flowing deep into his cup
there we both were framed in awkward silence, and I was in his living room invading his trust
he finally said to me that he had "one last cigarette to smoke and it was time to give it up"
but he laughed and added he "wasn't sure which to give up his life or the habit"
he said "it's my habits that made my fingers weak, when my chances came I couldn't grab it
but it's my life that made it hard and when my opportunities were there for free I chose my habits"
I half smiled and offered the most empathetic nod that I could conjure up, and said "I hear you brother I've got problems too, but words won't fill your cup
I've got responsibilities to face and they're woven tight to my dreams
I've got more bills to pay than I have time and I'm starting to rip at the seems
I've got a plan and I know that if I stick to it I can accomplish happiness
I've got goals that beat my will and lately it's been hard to accept the challenge."

and he said: "man, that's God talking to you, and I don't know why you can't see
you're so blind that you can't spare to make change because all your focus is on "m-e"
all wrapped up in your own skin that you can't help set an old man free
I've been in your shoes before it feels like it was yesterday if not at all
my existence has been a blink and for the life of me I can't remember what I saw."

that made so much sense to me, even though I convinced myself that he was totally insane
I bent over and lit his cigarette and told him to mind his own business
because I was just waiting for my train
he said "I've been waiting here forever just dying in my skin, and the only reason your living life is because your curious what'll happen in the end"
"that might be true but why should I pay my hard earned attention to vagabond doctrine
if you've got so much knowledge to give why not treat yourself to what you're offering
you probably have lived a hard life, and I apologize, but I have my own problems, that you couldn't understand just like a lot of guys
now, here's a couple bucks go buy yourself whatever makes you happy
even though I've promised myself to never pay for you to make my city look trashy"
he refused the money and sat there singing songs of love and hate
I crammed the change in my pocket, called him a lunatic and went on with my wait
as I stood there hovering near his tiny frame I could feel his eyes judging me sadly
it's as if he had to convince me that my life was on the wrong track, and I needed it badly
I said "hey old man your cigarettes all smoked up it's time for you to leave"
he looked at the trail of ash on his shirt and smiled as if it gave him some sort of relief
he propped himself up, collected his life and got prepared to become one with the night
he turned around and wished me luck with all my plans, and said something about learning to walk before I ran before I knew it he was out of my sight, and I had already forgotten his reasonings
I could hear my train coming and home was on my mind not his cryptic meanings
another traveler was on the platform and for some reason he was running towards me
all I could see was his eyes, but it's his words that will always stick with me
through his heavy breaths he asked if I had just spent time with the old man
I nodded in affirmation and tried to calm him, so he could tell me why he ran.

and he said: "man, that was god talking to you, how could you not see
that was God talking right to your face trying to hand you the keys
he was right here and I can't understand why you chose to make him leave
he just died in my arms right outside the station and said you were his only friend
he begged me to tell you about his life, make you see the light, give you your chance again."

I cringed at the reality that was facing me
I told the man I had no time for this and on my way I had to be
right about that time my train pulled up and I made my escape
I sat in the empty plastic seat, and held tight to my fate
that was decades ago, and now I sit singing on my own platform
my belongings stowed tightly in my bags handing out my sad sad songs
and I say it's my habits that make my fingers weak, when my chances come I can't grab them
but it's my life that makes it hard and when my opportunities are there for free I choose my habits I have no responsibilities and as a result I no longer need my dreams
I don't have any bills to pay, it's like I'm free but I'm really in captivity
I don't have any plans except to just sit here and try and weather the storm
I wish I had goals but if I had those then I wouldn't be here warning you on my platform
singing train songs.

Manly Man

Manly Man
Bradley Hathaway
website
myspace
store
video (quicktime required)


"I don't want my long hair
pretty green eyes with
no I do not have on mascara
Eyelashes
Skinny figure
Undersized T-shirt

Hip
Shake
Too
Much
when I walk

Confuse anyone...

I am a Manly Man!

Within this sissy frame
obviously rib laden chest
lies a heart
that beats

to the drum of a
Native American ritual dancing
wildness

It pumps an evercascading suppy of untamedness
that a herd of wild mustangs have yet to grasp.

If danger lurks about, I will seek it out.
If adventure abounds, there I will be found.
If a damsel be in distress

I will show her who is best.

I am a Manly Man!

Because I don't flush
and I leave the lid up.

I drive a nineteen
eighty-eight
Ford Pick-up truck.

Girls don't break up with me
I break up with them first!
(except the last time, it didn't really work out that way)

I don't shave the hair on my face
(because there really isn't any,
but when I can grow hair I won't shave it.)

Because beards are tough.
I fart
burp
spit
when I want

Not caring who is nearby

Disrespect my momma
and I will punch you in the eye!

I am a Manly Man!

Or am I?

I tell my guy friends that I love them.
And sometimes, I even hug them.
No I'm not gay.

I just love them.

When I watched Bambi
I cried.
When my mema gets mad
I still run and hide.

Like David I want to be a man after God's own heart.
I'm not there yet, but I'm past the start.

And when people talk
I try to listen
a spirit of compassion
That's my vision.
Surely I am a Manly Man
I want to be loved
and have love
and give Love.
(and not just that romantic kind either)

Although I am looking for that beauty
Not helpless
But wants to be rescued.
The Damsel in distress
Man
Woman
Myth
True.

I will fight for her.

Climb the highest tower for her

Love her.

Share with her.

Delight in her.

Be her warrior.

Her protector.

She will be my crown
and I will be hers.

My Masculinity will be passed down
and affirmed to my sons.

Each of my daughters will know they are lovely
and deserving of authentic romance.

Society tells me all day long

That I have defined manhood completely wrong.

But you ask any honest man and he will agree
You ask any honest woman and she too will see

That I am a Manly Man!"

I can't for the life of me remember who this was about but

"She may look all tired eyed
But she looks nicer without
the make up."

Thoughts about something

"There is something
reassuring
something safe
something loving
something caring
something that lets you
know you have shelter and
protection when you wake
up and walk to your mother's
bedroom to find her in the
arms of your father."

Sunday 11 June 2006

Intro

Hello there fine reader, I will appologise now, I'm not very good at writting, spelling, grammar, puncuation, or communicating particularly well.
What you will find on here is a (slowly) growing collection of things I have written down on my phone. This will be thoughts, ideas, snippets of lyrics or poems I have written (so no stealing ok, it will only make you look bad), that is unless I make it clear its not mine, where in which case I will provide you with links where you can buy, download, listen to or watch (all legally of course).
I will generally post my stuff in the format that it appears on my phone screen incase you wonder.

Dave

(ps, this might only last a week, we'll see how it goes, I'm never normally committed to blogs)