OMG! What was I thinking!

[scarcasm]What complete and utter sense! Why didn't I think of this before![/scarcasm]
Will write more later.
You know, this video has really tempted me to actually open a youtube account and send a response.

3, 2, 1, let the fist biting begin!

We did it

I played acoustic guitar at church today. Alot of the usual line up were away so it was myself, another guitarist (who lead), a drummer and another vocalist. I think it went really well, it seemed like for the first time in ages that I was actually able to get into the worship (properly). Speaking to a friend later they commented at it appear we all got into it. We were able to forget what we were playing and worship. It was a great sense of freedom and the congregation all seemed up for it.

Also, someone recognised the guitar I was playing, (Taylor Big Baby), and it was nice to know someone else geeks in worship too.

And now for something completely different. I *adore* this song.

U R MR GAY

It's like The Little Mermaid all over again!
Link!

They get me *every* time

Films. Darn those things!
It seems whatever film I go and see, something leaps out grabs me by the face and stirs me somewhat.

As a child, did you ever leave the cinema thinking you were superman? I can clearly remember trying out my new found martial arts after watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Secret of the ooze. Feeling invincible I could perform flying kicks and other things I'm quite sure I couldn't pull off now. Nothing is changed. Part of me is waiting for this childishness to wear off, but the other part of me, well, its childish, so it likes it.

I used to laugh at my mum when I was younger for showing emotion when seeing things on Tv, but now its me. I never thought I would watch a children's film/cartoon and be brought to tears. I never thought I could be so inspired to be a better man until I watched 'The Pursuit of Happyness'. I never thought a Jim Carrey film ('Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless mind') could get in my head so much and reassure me that clearly, I'm not the only one who thinks like I do.

And so tonight, I saw 'Stardust' and for one night only, I was the loser turned hero who had met his one true love.

Silly, I feel silly even admitting to that.

about being in a group of people who make noise to help other make some too

Ok, watch the video from 5:09 to 5:00 - (it counts down.)

(I'll point out now, its a cartoon clip from kill bill, the scenes before and after 5:09 to 5:00 are bloody.)


So, if you watched that clip, you'll understand what I mean when I had one of those sort of moments this evening. (No, I didn't wimper.)

We were talking about when we are leading the church is worship, sometimes we are able to worship as we play but we have to really kinda be in two minds so we can think about what we are doing, sometimes we have focus on what we are doing to make sure we get the right notes, and other times we are about to just let go, worship God and the music bit just happens.

I raised the question, "if we are able to sometimes "worship god and the music bit just happens", surely this is something we could do all the time and did the group think this was possible. As soon as I said it, it kinda set people off talking (even though we were about to do something else.) I thought about that scene in kill bill and wished I could have done the same thing.

The someone else asked the question, is it really nessary to be able to worship and let go when our act of worship really is about serving the church. I only really had the answer that "it made me feel better...and at that point I kinda shut up thinking I had probably revealed something in me I was only just getting my head around.

But then on the way home, I thought some more about it. Surely, if you are in love with someone, you show them your affection because you love them. Its an overflow of the heart and it makes you feel all 'loved up' doing it! (its a great feeling I might add). While you aren't necessarily getting something back, that giving makes you feel good. Why should that be any different with worship? You are expressing adoration and affection to someone you love, the feeling you get some that is natural and surely seeking that every time we play isn't a bad thing?

I know I've missed some (if not all of the point) so please chip in!

Facebook and "Professing belief in Jesus as Christ or following the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus"

"Religious.....? follower of christ"
"Philosophical Christian"
"Follower of Him"
"Follower of Christ"
"Christian - Baptist"
"Jesus loves me."
"There is no-one like Jesus!"
"I Love Jesus"
"God"
"Christian - emerging church"
"i am a voice crying out in the wilderness."
"Christian and loving it!"
"Full on woman of God!!"
"Christian Anglican"
"Jesus is My Homeboy"
"Im not religious, I live by Grace"
"Scientologist"
"Christian - Protestant"
"messy Christian"
"Ain't nothing but a G thang baby!"
"Jesus. yes indeed"
"Other"
"In The God Squad"
"Bible Christian"
"I believe in the power of the mighty boosh."
"Christian - Non Conformist Upstart"
"I heart JESUS"
"Loving the big man upstairs"
"Christian - Not Pentecostal"
"No thanks"
"Christian, mostly.Muslim monday evenings"
"Loving the Lord with all my heart, mind, soul and strength"
"Christian - down with the big JC!"
"Christian and flippin proud"
"Saved by the grace of God"
"Christian - Cynical"
"Meh Who Knows!"
"Christian and proud! :)"
"God rocks"
"Big up JC"
"to him in whom all things find their purpose..."
"God is Freaking Brilliant"
"Jesus"
"Christian - The Universal Body of Jesus Christ"
"I believe they call me a 'Christian'"
"Living it all for God, he is my everything"
"Not an atheist"
"I don't like religion: I love Jesus"
"SMILE JESUS LOVES YOU :D :D CHEESE :P"
"Leave me alone"
"religion kills, Jesus saves."
"Christ Centred"

Its an interesting thing this Facebook thing.
I've been thinking for a while about how people label themselves when it comes to the 'religious views' section in the profile.

While alot of my christian friends just list themselves as this, alot however, have a tendancy to almost cover it up with something else. Not that they are trying to cover up they are christians, I think its because basically Christians as a whole don't really have a great repretation. Alot of people view christians as individuals who want to shove religious or moral views down the closest throat.

I think alot of people are also trying to distance themselves from the concept of religion. "Who wants religion when you can have a relationship?" "Religion is man's attempts to reach God. Jesus is God's attempt to reach man." It seems everyone I've met has had some sort of experience of church or christians, most of that is negative "Christian - Not Pentecostal" is a fine example from one of my friends in america.

Nobody wants to be labled as a 'jesus freak', no matter how much we are told in as song (that I might add, has the most most horrid intro I have ever heard), this is actually cool. We were only talking today about the miracle of Pope John Paul II at work. The catholic in the office also tired to distance herself from that.

I think what alot of people are trying to do is try and get people to find out about them, who they really are, their story, instead of just letting people get the wrong idea from the word 'christian'.

Me? "I'm an already-but-not-yet, resurrected, fallen man."

I'm really quite daft

I read stuff like this and then wonder why I don't seem to be able to learn from things I seem to have only just learnt. That make any sense?

Anyhoo, I bought Leigh Nash's album 'blue on blue' today. I got a tip off that a copy was all alone in the SPCK bargin bucket so I couldn't resist! In case you don't know, Leigh used to be the lead singer from Six Pence none the richer. I love her voice, the track 'Ocean Size Love' is just prefect.

I decided the other day I wanted to leave my job. Well, thats not entirely correct, I planned to leave 5 months ago, it just didn't all quite go to plan.

When I got my job, I made it quite clear I had the intention to leave after about a year, but it seems to have been forgotten somewhere along the way. I'm sure I've blogged about this before but I've got grand plans to get a christian music website up and running. The plan was to work in an office for the first year, this would pay for me to move out and save up some money. After this, I would get another job that would give me more time to develop the website.

The thing is, the 9-5 routine doesn't let me do that.

bum, how did it get to midnight so early!?

I dunno what to say

Part of me just want to moan, another wants to complain, another wants to express hurt, however I'm very aware I will probably end up hanging out my dirty washing in public. (I'm not hugely keen on that.)

I went out with some friends the other night to celebrate and say farewell to our beloved Ruth Alexander who is off to Africa this friday. It seemed like a good number of people turned up and was having a good time. However one person (I know I haven't blogged in ages, but will still try and remember not to name drop) there was being really off with everyone. They started blanking everyone. Everyone picked up on the general not to cheery mood of said person so tried not to make much of it. However, it kinda got harder as this person started necking pints and being rather abusive to people.

Ok, so we left and kinda just laughed it off, I mean what else do you do?

We walked to the next pub and ended up arranging to meet this person again (they had decided to walk the 3 miles home) so they could be driven home rather than supported.
So there am I, walking with a friend and this person. It was kinda uncomfortable as some of their aggression was aimed at me, but anyway, as.

Forget this, I'll get to the point.

I'm really hurt by the fact this person made a joke in front of everyone about the fact I was depressed from 15-18. No scratch that, I'm angry.
My initial response was to laugh but as I thought more about what had just been said I realized it all out of spite, it was the lowest blow this person could have used and they did it.

But do I be angry or just pity them? I mean, I came through those 3 years ok. I don't turn to drink when I'm in a situation I can't control. I don't need it for confidence. I can control my anger.
Yeah, "I pity the fool." (well, I had to put in a lame joke somewhere, right?)

Forget RSS

Twingly is the future.

To have a bass sound like this

would be a fine thing.


and yes Phil, I know there isn't a bass player to be seen :D

you think you are strong?

Try fighting against immodium. I took two yesterday evening and haven't been the same since.

what's new?

I'm sure there is alot I could write here but at this moment in time all I'm really thinking about is how I'll probably complain about something within the first sentence. See? Go me.

I'll get to the point, quite a few months ago my dearest mother (who I might add, I'm currently getting on very well with) dumped about 10 bags of my stuff I left at her house when I moved out. I was kinda miffed at the time and I imagine I blogged about it. Anyway, the other day I found myself going through all the bags and stumbled upon I book I once looked at but never read. Its called "When the Spirit Comes" by Colin Urquhart and it makes for interesting reading. Have I ever posted my thoughts about 'Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless mind" giving a good example of what 'religion' is? Bug me if i haven't. Anyway, the past, I dunno, how many months has got me realizing I wasn't actually living a life of faith or relationship, it was (and still is I might add) a life of routine.

"What is a Christian?"
The silence continued, but it was not such a peaceful silence as it had been. I could see from the faces in front of me that several were thinking "what a stupid question!" "What an arrogant question!" "We know what a christian is!"
"Would someone like to suggest an answer?" I asked.
There was still silence. instead of looking at me, people began to look down at their shoes. They were thinking - hard! I asked everyone for a reply. most were farily predictable:
"A Christian is someone who believes in God."
"A Christian is someone who goes to church."
"A Christian is a good person."
"A Christian is someone who has faith."
"A Christian is someone who helps other people."
When everyone has spoken, I was obviously expected to give my answer. I only pointed out that we all seemed to have our own opinions.
"As far as I can see, they are not worth very much. Only God's opinion matters. What is His idea of a Christian? We had better find that out. All out answers tonight have been about what we can do for god. I believe that a christian is someone who allows God to do something for him."

So, i'm reading this book to find out what happened next.

The blurb says:

" When the Reverend Colin Urquhart began his ministry as parish priest of St. Hugh's near Luton, on a large housing estate, he knew from the experience of his predecessors that life would be tough.

Within four years, however his church has changed beyond recognition as the members found themselves witnessing miracles of healing, and establishing new relationships with one another, as God gave them a remarkable vision of love, community ans service."

I'm intrigued. Hillsongs wasn't even invented when this book was written (1974). The meetings started with 15 people, not 22,000. There was no hype, no loud guitars, no lights just prayer. It seems authentic to me. Something I want. The only problem I can see in all of this is I'm a rather lazy chap, a relationship with God is something I want, but the question is "do I really want one?" Can I really be bothered? I'm just being honest.

Its good to be back.